I don’t live with my family anymore. I moved out when I got a job interstate. It was my first fulltime job but I had worked part time while studying previously and also while I was looking for fulltime work. Now my dad would never allow my to pay him rent for living at home, it wasn’t his style and he didn’t see it necessary for me to give him money as he would rather me save money and get my own place. That’s fine and again a privilege that my dad did not want to make me pay for rent while living at home. To compensate this I would do other things such as buying the groceries and making dinner at night. Taking my dad out for meals when we went. Little things but never the less things where he didn’t have to send his own money and I could give back to him somehow.

This is where my sister differs. She got a full time job relatively immediately after finishing her university degree. She lived at home til her late 20s. She also was never made to pay rent and my dad would never let her. She however took over our lounge room and made it her domain. She would buy food however this was hers and nooone elses. Things she bought were for her and no one else. God forbid she helped pay a bill or pay for a meal for my dad no she would not spend any money on anyone but herself. Did she think about being and adult and moving out and paying rent? Nope, no way… this would mean she would spend too much of her own money and why do that when life was pretty cruisey at home with my father waiting on her hand and foot doing her dishes, washing and cooking for her not to mention all expenses paid!

Living at home for years and years and spending barely any money except on herself meant she eventually had enough money to finally buy her own apartment. This was music to my ears. Finally she would stop freeloading off my poor dad who could not see what was happening. Then the frustration got even worse. Sure she was getting ready to move out and got all packed up but hey she was in a fully furnished house right? and mum was always prepared with extra stuff to replace existing stuff which meant for my sister that she didn’t have to spend money to move out. So it began. She took pots, pans, towels, cutlery….. new things, old things… things we were still using but she wants. This low life sister of mine took whatever she wanted from the family home like the freeloader she was.

Did my family say anything? No. Did my dad say anything? No.

To be fair I didn’t say anything either. Sure I was mad… beyond mad actually, I was furious that once again shes taking advantage of my parents however I just wanted her out the house so the freeloading would stop.

Life was finally good again. That sister was out of the house and barely visited. I felt better knowing there was no one taking full advantage of my dad anymore. That was until she moved back in…..

My childhood wasn’t bad. Let me make that clear. I came from a very stable home and was lucky enough to have parent that not only stayed together but loved each other and their children. Don’t get me wrong, like every other family my parents did fight but nothing like some other families experience. I always felt loved and we were privileged enough to have enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle. This was more so due to the sacrifices my parents made in which us children came first. We grew up understanding (or at least I did) that I couldn’t have everything I wanted and that money didn’t grow on trees. It was earned and reckless spending was not on.

So when did my problems start? I don’t remember exactly when but somewhere towards the end of my high school years things changed in the household. My sisters and I generally got along. We are all on the bigger side and always have been. My two older sisters had an issAue with this. While I have never had issues with my size or weight but more focused on my health the other two tried their best to lose weight with some things that worked and others that didn’t. Don’t get me wrong in hindsight both sisters had mental health issues surrounding their weight. Both tried fad diets and diet companies with varying results but nothing sustainable. Issues arrived when one of my sisters developed bulimia.

We were close so I knew about it but I didn’t tell anyone as I didn’t want to out her. Now if you looked at her you would never know she had it as her weight didn’t drop rapidly and she never became very thin. But this was the beginning of the deterioration of family dynamics with her and the start of her blatant disrespect for others. The cycle would go on every day. Eat, eat, eat….go to the bathroom (my parents no less) to throw up.

Now I’m not sure if it was related as bulimia can cause mood swings etc but she mood and attitude became unbearable. While still young I ignored it and pretended like nothing however it was obvious she had blatant disrespect for my parents and still does. It was around this point of realisation and having grown up that I decided enough was enough. I wanted nothing to do with her anymore and was over it. Some of this stemmed from her not giving a damn while my mother went through treatment for metastatic lung cancer which pushed to the edge.

Fast forward to recent times and while my other sisters have no issues with her I no longer see her as family. She is in my eyes a parasite sucking the life out of my father and would do only things to benefit herself. This I will get into in other blogs. My sisters do not understand why I still do not like her however they do not see what I see. They believe she has stopped her eating disorder however she has progressed from throwing up at times to mainly taking laxatives to make it less obvious. They keep telling me she has changed. She has in fact gotten worse, more disrespectful and still one of the most selfish people I know.

 

I am a 30yr old who has finally decided to create a blog on my life experience of a family with little respect. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about my entire family. It is mainly about 2 particular people, my sister and my brother-in-law granted there a times I question the doings of my other family members as well. This blog will be about some of the struggles I face trying to be civil with certain people in the family due to others I would like to keep in contact with. Finding that happy medium that is so hard to come by.

Why make a public blog about my dealings with my family I hear you ask? Because I believe I am not the only ones with family issues in fact I know I’m not. While society believes we should always depict our lives as happy and fun we seem to be encouraged to hide all the negativity in our lives.

This blog serves as my outlet. A way to express my feelings and show the world that while we endeavour to show the persona of a perfect life the fact is no family is perfect and in fact many of us have family issues whether small or much bigger then we admit. In the next few blogs I’d like to start retelling my story. The story of how I hide behind a persona of being happy while really I live in a family full or disrespect and how at times I wish I could be that person that just disappears and leaves there family behind. My posts will be as honest as I can make them. Written in an unedited way. To be as truthful to myself while writing it as I am to those reading it.

I hope this blog reaches people, is interesting enough and develops into a conversation on what we deal with within our families and the things we can do to help each other out in times of hardship.

I look forward to hopefully bringing you some interesting content in the future but for now I shall end my first entry here.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton